Realizations You're Not In College Anymore

• You're waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed.
• Beers at lunch get you reprimanded.
• College sweatshirts are 'casual' instead of dress up.
• Your parents charge rent.
• The four food groups are no longer beer, pizza, chips and cereal.
• It's 'getting late' when it's 9:30 p.m.
• Three words: Student Loan Payments.
• You make thousands of dollars a year - and still can't afford that dream Porsche.
• You start eyeing the Light Beer Section appreciatively.
• Pickup football games mean that at least one person will be in the hospital by game's end.
• THEN, discussing with your friends: GPA's, spring break plans,and tonsil hockey;
• NOW: mutual funds, interest rates, and wedding plans.
• Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
• Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.
• Sneakers are now 'weekend shoes'.
• Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
• Pregnancy now brings thought of tax deductions instead of coronaries.
• Jack and Cokes become Dewers on the Rocks.
• The only drugs you take are Tums and Tylenol.
• The weak single you hit in the intramural softball game is now remembered as a
• Varsity dinger for the League Championship.
• You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN Sportscenter, and MTV News.
• Random hook-ups are no longer socially acceptable.
• You wear more ties in a week than you even owned while taking in college.
• You find yourself reminiscing fondly of 2-hour Calculus exams.
• You empathize with the characters from Friends.
• METABOLISM SLOWDOWN
• Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog.
• You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
• Grocery lists actually contain relatively healthy food.
• When drinking, you say at least once per night, 'I just can't put it down the same as I used to'.
• Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work, not video games.
• You're actually willing to pay a bit more to drink in a bar that's not full of "21-year-old kids."
• Golf is beginning to seem a lot less silly.